


Stay Safe - Love, Phil

by rainbowchristy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Car Accidents, Depression, Engagement, Heavy Angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 10:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20487668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowchristy/pseuds/rainbowchristy
Summary: bocuhoes' Prompt: Dan and Phil are engaged and it was a night already before the wedding. Somebody phone called Dan (or whatever you want to happen) that Phil died from a car crash (again, any way you want to put it) and suicided because of depression. Phil wasn't actually dead and was so depressed he quit youtube. Then you can do whatever you want in the ending.





	Stay Safe - Love, Phil

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Suicide, Corpses and Death/Serious Injury. This isn’t a light-hearted story, I’m warning you now.

“So, tomorrow,” Dan murmured, moving to snuggle into Phil’s side more.

“Yeah,” Phil smiled back, “You ready?”

“Of course. I’m so excited to finally have it be official. We will legally be married. Not just domestic partners. Actually married,” he mused excitedly. Phil turned his head to kiss Dan’s forehead before turning back to the movie.

Soon Dan nodded off to sleep, curled into his fiance’s side. Phil removed Dan’s arms from him as he stood. Scribbling down a quick note as to where he was going, Phil made his way out of the apartment and down the street.

_ Ring ring. Ring ring. _

Dan picked up the phone, saying a groggy, “Dan speaking,” into the phone.

“Hello? Is this Daniel Howell?” the man on the phone asked, caution etching into his voice.

“Y-yes?”

“My name is James McClane, I’m a nurse in London Hospital. Philip Lester was hit by a truck around an hour ago. He was rushed into emergency and has just finished surgery and I was given the all clear to contact you. He’s still in critical condition so you cannot see him but as his next of kin, we need you to come down and sign off a few things. How soon can you get down here?” the voice explained.

Dan felt like he was submerged in water, unable to surface for air. His entire world was crumbling around him. Phil, his fiance for only one more day, was hit by a truck and in critical condition.

“Hello? Are you still there?” the man asked.

“Oh, yes. Sorry. I’ll come right away.”

“Thank you, sir.” The nurse hung up and Dan went about collecting his keys, phone and wallet before leaving the building. He completely missed the note Phil had left for him.

~~~~

“Hi. I’m Dan Howell. Phil Lester’s next of kin. How is he going?” Dan rushed out once he’d approached the counter.

“He’s still in critical condition,” the tired looking nurse informed from her desk. “Are you able to sign off on some things for us?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Ok. We just need you to sign here,” she said, pointing to a line and drawing a star next to it. “And here.” Another star.

Dan signed the required papers and was told to sit in the waiting room. They’d bring news as soon as possible. Dan sat in the uncomfortable seat for maybe six hours. By the time he’d received news, it was the next day. Their wedding day. Well, it _ was _ their wedding day.

“We are terribly sorry to inform you but Mr Lester has passed away. We did everything we could but we couldn’t get him stable after the accident. I’m awfully sorry for your loss,” the doctor who must had been checking on Phil explained solemnly.

Dan’s world broke into pieces. His perfect life from mere hours ago was now nowhere to be seen. He felt any traces of hope and happiness leave his system as he was left with the familiar black void that was his depression.

Dan signed whatever forms they shoved in his face and called for an Uber home, not feeling he’d be able to walk further than necessary. The Uber driver gave him strange looks as he sobbed quietly in the passenger seat but didn’t say anything. Dan had come out of the hospital in tears, enough said.

“Have a good sleep, lad. I’m sure things won’t seem so dull in the morning,” the Uber driver said kindly as Dan began to climb out of his seat and stumbled into the recognisable entrance to their home. Dan thought about that for a minute. Their home. Phil was gone. It was his home.

Dan cried harder at the thought. Their apartment, that they had both filled with nerdy nick-nacks for over five years now, only brought sadness to his eyes. The day before, their book had brought happy memories. Now though, when Dan looked at ‘The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire’, all he thought about was his beautiful life with Phil and how it was ripped away from him, unjust.

Dan, not being able to bear the prospect of never seeing Phil again, thought of the only viable option in his eyes. He wasn’t a religious person but if there was an afterlife, he’d be with Phil there. And if there wasn’t, which is what he believed, at least he wouldn’t be in any pain.

Dan took the lift to the top floor of their apartment complex and opened up the door to the roof, surprised it wasn’t locked. He fished out his phone and dialed Phil’s memorised number.

“Hi, Phil. I know you’re never going to hear this because you’re already gone but I still wanted to say goodbye. I’m sorry, Phil. You know you’ve helped me through so much but I can’t continue without you. I still need you Phil. I’m sorry I can’t continue. If afterlife exists, I’ll see you there. If not, at least neither of us will be in pain. Bye, Phil. I love you so much.”

Dan hung up, ending the voice message and placed his phone against the concrete as not to break it in the fall. Standing on the edge, he looked down, seeing all the people going about their days.

Shuffling closer to the edge, he sniffled, knowing this is how he was going to die. He’d spend weeks thinking about death during his many existential crises but he’d never thought this was how he’d go out. Not after meeting the love of his life.

Dan took one final step and felt himself begin to fall. _ It will all be over soon, _ he thought before an incredible pain followed by nothing. He couldn’t even think about the lack of pain. There was just a motionless body laying there on the ground.

~~~~

“Danny, I’m home,” Phil called, shrugging off his jacket. His phone buzzed in his coat pocket so he fished it out, seeing a missed call and voicemail from Dan. Phil clicked the voicemail and held the phone up to his ear, breath getting caught once he realised what it was. “No,” he whispered to himself out of shock.

There was a loud thump outside followed by screaming and Phil could have sworn he felt his heart stop beating. He bolted outside and saw his fiance’s lifeless body lying limp on the ground. Blood and people pooled around him as Phil pushed his way through the swarm of terrified bodies.

Phil crumpled to the ground at Dan’s side, pulling him up so he could hug the blood covered body. Phil could hear faint sirens in the distance but he couldn’t care less. Dan’s body lay still in his arms and Phil knew it was too late. Even if he survived, Dan would have no quality of life after a fall like that.

The ambulance arrived and dragged a crying Phil away from the body before covering him in a white cloth, transferring him to the ambulance.

It was two days later that Dan’s funeral was held. Phil read a speech he’d prepared but cried the whole way through, making the words he formed barely audible. Phil was cradled in his mother’s arms as he cried at the loss of his so nearly husband.

Two days later, on November 4th, 2017, Phil Lester officially left his old life behind. His tweet, posted at 4:37pm, read ‘_I’m sure many of you have heard about Dan Howell's passing. Honouring our legacy and the world we made together, I'm no longer pursuing a youtube career and officially closing my channel. Thank you to all our followers for sticking with us till the end. I love you all. Thank you._’

  
The note Phil had written on Dan’s final day read: ‘_Gone out to get some groceries we needed. Thought I’d let you sleep. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Stay safe. Love, Phil._’

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was sad. I actually cried while writing it. I think I might turn it into a comic because, ya know, pain.


End file.
